


How to Kill an Asgardian

by MLPro



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alien Prejudice, Racism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-09-06 17:51:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8762989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MLPro/pseuds/MLPro
Summary: The Avengers receive a mysterious threat written is Asgard's native language.  Of course this means the Asgardians are going to kill everyone on Earth.  Thor insists that his people are not dangerous, but his so-called friends are skeptical, and begin to plot a way to eliminate all Asgardians before they eliminate them first.Dedicated to my Asgardian friend :)





	1. Chapter 1

"GOSH DAMNIT THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!"

An enraged voice echoed up to the balcony of Stark's tower where Thor was chilling with his hammer and minding his own business. The voice was accompanied by pounding footsteps and ragged breathing, and soon enough, Tony and Steve had accompanied their friend, who stared wide-eyed at their pissed-off expressions, Tony clutching a piece of paper in his balled-up fist.

"What's the big deal?" Thor asked, looking at his fellow Avengers with understandable confusion.

"I'll tell you what the big deal is!" Tony continued to rage. "I get this motherfucking note in my damned bar, just randomly warping into my fucking drink, written in your bullshit language!"

"Language, Tony!" Steve yelled just as loudly. "But yeah, that is a big deal!"

Tony shoved the note at Thor, who proceeded to read it out loud to his enraged teammates.

"Avengers, your protection of this mortal world is in vain. Prepare to die. Prepare to lose everyone you care about. Prepare to feel the wrath of our people. From, Asgard."

"Ha! I knew it would say something like that!" Tony pumped his fist before pounding it into Steve's in victory. "Explain that one, Thor! Bet you can't!"

"Like I've always said, my people are of no threat to you," Thor calmly explained. "This is probably one of Loki's pranks or something."

"Oh yeah?" Steve raised an eyebrow.

"You think we're gonna take any chances?" Tony asked.

"Trust me, Asgard means to harm to any of you!" Thor said. "It's just a misunderstanding. There's nothing wrong with my home or anyone in it. Well, there's Loki, but like I said, he's probably pranking us."

Steve and Tony muttered something along the lines of "Sure, right."

"Well, sorry Thor, but we can't let our people die," Tony said seriously. "We're going to have to take the Asgardians down."

"What? You can't do that - "

"We don't have a choice," Steve stated firmly as he and Tony walked off to inform the other Avengers of their plan.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers (besides Thor) come up with a plan to destroy every Asgardian in existence. Meanwhile, Thor tries (and fails) to convince them otherwise.

It was early the next morning, on what was supposed to be just a normal relaxing day, but, as usual, the relaxation part had to be postponed in the Avengers' schedule. Because this, they thought, was a dire situation, one that placed the lives of all people on Earth at risk. And if Thor thought that problem didn't exist, then he didn't have to solve it. That was what Tony had reasoned with the other Avengers when they asked why Thor wasn't there, because, being an Asgardian himself, he should know how to kill them, right?

Meanwhile, Thor slept late, peacefully as ever, and was awakened to a lingering silence. Which was weird, usually everyone was getting up at this time, having breakfast, chatting loudly, maybe having a friendly-rivalry fight or two, but there was nothing. In confusion, Thor got out of bed and looked around before finding everyone in the council's meeting room.

"Uh...hey Thor," Bruce smiled sheepishly as Thor walked in to find his teammates huddled together making plans.

"What are you guys up to this time?" Thor asked, starting to walk over.

"Don't you remember? We're trying to destroy Asgard, duh." Tony rolled his eyes.

"I haven't forgotten," Thor said as he looked over the plans his friends had written out so far. They were all so wrong and ridiculous that he couldn't help but laugh out loud a bit.

"What's so funny?" Natasha asked him.

"Oh, nothing." Thor pulled himself together. "Just that you're doing everything wrong." He laughed a bit again.

"Well, do you have any suggestions for fixing it?" Tony asked impatiently.

"I'm not contributing to this. I've already told you, my people mean no harm and I stand by that. Good luck failing that hard," Thor answered, a bitter edge creeping into his voice.

Everyone collectively groaned at this.

"Why are you annoyed at me? You're wasting your time," Thor continued. "When has anyone from Asgard just randomly arrived to hurt everyone? It doesn't make sense. At the very least you should figure out whose handwriting that is, before singling out an entire race."

"How are we supposed to figure out who wrote this?" Steve asked. "It's not like we know anyone there, much less who to ask."

Thor was losing his patience by the second. "You don't know any of them yet you decide it's a good idea to kill all of them? For no apparent reason!? YOU ALL COULD BE MURDERERS BY THE END OF THIS WEEK AND I'LL BE LEFT WITH ABSOLUTELY NO ONE AND NOTHING!"

"You'll have us...?" Clint said shyly.

"YEAH I'LL HAVE MURDERERS AS MY ONLY FRIENDS! AWESOME! I FEEL SO GREAT ABOUT MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!" Thor slammed his hammer on top of the plans that the others were making and started to storm out of the room.

"Uh...Thor? Could you move your hammer please? We can't work like this," Tony called after him.

"AAAAAAARGH FINE!" Thor took his hammer and left.

"Wow, anger issues much?" Tony laughed a bit, but by this point the others had started to give each other uncomfortable looks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "He's a dentist."
> 
> "And you're an anti-dentite. YOU'RE A RABID ANTI-DENTITE!" XD
> 
> So here's the next part of this story (finally gosh Sandy what's wrong with you lol). Be sure to tell me if you have any suggestions for this story and any other stories to come!  
> Peace :)

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure where I'm going with this one at first. I'm just going to go with this story as time goes on. Feel free to suggest something you want to happen.  
> Peace out dudes :)


End file.
